Diary of a Madman
by GothicAngel-sama
Summary: Sasuke is nuts and this is his journal of how he is couping with his condition. Can love and a small kitten be enough to save his from his delirous mind or will this once great man fall into something darker than any of us have ever experienced?
1. Day 1

**A/N: Hey, Angel-sama here with a new story that I've been drabbling with over my four day weekend. Hope you like it if no then oh well.**

 **Day 1** :  
My name is Sasuke Uchiha. I am 26 and I live in a middle class neighborhood in the center of Pasadena, California. I am the second son of the late owners of the Uchiha law firm in New Jersey. My older brother is Itachi Uchiha. I haven't seen him since my parents died in the plane crash on April 10, 2007. That's 8 years with no contact from my only blood. The last I has heard from him he was studying abroad in Europe. A friend of my father's took over his firm and I had been offered a job there several years ago but was underqualified to work.

For years I have been the black sheep of the prestigious Uchiha for my mental condition. I was diagnosed with schitzoprienia in 2005 and have been on medication since. I was told that there is no cure and that I would be stuck on medication for the rest of my life. Regular therapy sessions have been advised and I got two to three times a week for an hour at a time. My shrink, Shizune, is very nice to me and understanding of what I am going through. It's hard for me to keep a steady job and friends because I can never tell them the truth about me. I'm afraid that if they knew the truth they would hate me. The one person I can trust with anything is my best friend since high school – Naruto Uzumaki. He's blonde with blue eyes and the most outgoing person I have ever met. He has the most uncanny ability to make friends with almost anyone he meets.

He knows of my condition but I didn't tell him.

From what I remember of that night, we were watching a horror movie at my house and I just snapped on him. Shizune had always warned me that anything with lots of violence or negative emotions could trigger it and I had always been watchful to avoid any triggers, but that night I thought I was safe enough. I don't remember everything that happened and Naruto to this say refuses to tell me everything, but he doesn't hate me for what happened. After I got a chance to explain, he was actually quite understanding- apperantly a family member of his was going through the same thing.

I don't leave the house much except to see Shizune or to hang out with Naruto but I quite happen to like it here by myself. Shizune thinks I should get a dog to take care of so I have someone to be around throughout the day. Did I happen to mention that I hate dogs? No? Well, I hate dogs. They're loud and smelly and needy and to much work. I would much prefer a cat. I didn't dare oppose Shizune when she suggested it though, she is well mannered and polite until you piss her off; then she may take off your head with the katana she has hanging on the wall behind her desk.

I have taken to writing a daily journal about, well anything to help cope. I don't know how long I will keep this up, but it gives me something to do throughout the day.


	2. Day 2

**Day 2:**  
I went to the animal shelter this morning to pick up a kitten. There were many to choose from and honestly it saddened me to sees so many adorable little balls of fluff without a home in those smelly cages. I chose one whom was sitting quietly in the corner of one of the cages. She is grey with the greenest eyes I have ever seen. I don't know what I'm going to name her yet, but I do hope she will approve of the name. After I picked her up, we went to PetSmart to pick up her a collar and all the kitty neccesities. I think I'll take her with me to meet Shizune since I have an appointment later today.

My appointment with Shizune went well though she was disappointed that I hadn't gotten a dog. I still haven't thought of a decent name for her yet but have taken to calling her Koneko. She seems to like the name well enough so it may stick. Naruto came over and got a surprise when she jumped up on the table and tried to eat his ramen. The way he screamed like a little girl was hilarious and I laughed until I snorted which only made me laugh more. I thank Kami for Naruto and Koneko cause surely without them I don't know what I would do.

After Naruto left my new kitty and I watched a few nature documentaries, non-violent of course before turning in for the night. It was about the deep sea and was swiping at the fish on the screen…I wonder if she knows that they weren't really there? Maybe I should tell her, but then again I don't want her to be mad at me and try to kill me in my sleep.


	3. Day 3

**Day 3:  
** The nightmares are back again. I have to tell someone about them but I can't – Shizune will just pop me full of more pills and Naruto may thing I'm insane, I can't tell them because I can't lose my only friend.

Koneko slept on the bed with me last night, she curled up on the pillow next to me and fell asleep purring. She looked so peaceful sleeping. I envy her because I wish I could sleep that peacefully. She doesn't have those voices yelling, screaming, shrieking through her head at night keeping her from sleeping.

Does she?

Kami, I hope not. I don't want her to be like me, I don't want anyone to be like me; I so alone in this world because no one knows what I'm going through, how much I'm suffering. I wish there were a way for me to end this, but I know I can't not anymore; I have Koneko to take care of. She trusts me to love her and tend to her. She may be an animal, but she's the only thing in this world that is keeping me sane anymore.

Kami help me to make it another day, please give me the strength I need to be able to get through this…


	4. Day 4

**A/N: So, since I was able to crank out a few chapters in about a day or two I hope you lovely readers can find it in your hearts to forgive me if I just so happen to drop off for the week end? Thanks.**

 **Day 4:  
** Have you ever seen a person walking a cat like they would a dog? Ha-ha, I took Koneko out for a walk in the park today since I bought her a little leash too. She looked so cute! We got some strange looks from some of the other park patrons, but I don't really care. I had a decent day with my little kitty.

When we got home there was a voicemail on the answering machine from Shizune. Apparently she has someone she wants me to meet at our next session. I can't say I'm exactly thrilled, but it may be good for me to meet new people.

I've been able to push aside the memories of my nightmares from yesterday. I still haven't told anyone but Koneko and when I did, it was almost like she really understood me. As I talked to her about it, she curled up in my lap and let me pet her. She's taken away a lot of my anxiety. Shizune said that if I can keep progressing like this, I may be able to get off a few of my meds. Now that is some awesome news.

Well, it's four o'clock - time for Koneko's dinner. If I don't make it just right, she'll be mad at me for the entire day. Sigh.


	5. Day 5

**Day 5  
** Day three of having my little kitten and she's adapted well to me and even to Naruto. Every time he comes over, she spends about 20 minutes rubbing against his leg trying to get him to pick her up and cuddle with her.

Remember how Shizune told me she had a surprise for me? Well, it's not exactly a surprise I would want. When I went in for my appointment with her, Koneko wouldn't stop hissing in her little carrier. The 'surprise'- notice the intense sarcasm- was a woman with bright pink hair and green eyes that rival Neko's. She is way to bubbly and upbeat for my taste. Her voice is high pitched and she is so needy. I gathered all that in the time it took Shizune to introduce her as Sakura Haruno, an aspiring medical student whom is currently studying with Tusnad, her former teacher and notorious gambler.

Shizune and Tusnad are taking a vacation to Las Vegas, Nevada and I still need someone to write off on my meds and have my therapy session and the cherry on top is that I she's going to be staying with me and Koneko at the house.

I am inclined to agree with Koneko when she said hiss.


	6. Day 6

**Day 6  
** Still not convinced that her hair is naturally pink. Plus, why in the hell would anyone want to dye their hair that goddamn bright? That is just a no.

She's supposed to get here at noon and stay with me for a week. Joy. Can I just kill myself now? I have to call Naruto to see if he'll take Koneko while Sakura is here cause I have the feeling that I will have to break up more than one cat fight if they're anywhere near each other. As much as I would love to see kitten scratch her face all to hell, Shizune would have my ass on a silver platter. I rather like it where it is so I must attempt to be a decent host for her.

Again, Kami kill me now. So then, I'm off to call Naruto to take care of my little baby girl. Um, I mean, yea screw it. I need my meds.


	7. Day 7

**Day 7  
** The morning after Sakura's first night here. Kami kill me now. Last night was hell. Konkeo was still here when Pinky got here, so I had to explain to them both that the kitten would be going to spend the night with Naruto. Neither of them got that and my arms are now covered in scratched thanks to the both of them. Seeing no other way to keep the girls apart, I put Koneko in our bedroom and closed the door. I left horrible for doing it and trust me, if I could've gotten away with locking Sakura in the closet, I would've done that instead of locking away my baby girl.

Koneko was none to please with me for that little episode, and she made that apperant when she threw all the books and papers on my desk to the floor along with shredding the curtains. 95 % sure she also pooped on some of the papers. I have to buy so much catnip once Sakura leaves to make up for this. Naruto didn't get here till 'bout eight to pick her up and I had to hear more from the both of them for it. as if it was my fault! Ugh, whatever.

Sakura wasn't anymore pleasant to handle than Neko was. She complained constantly about how much it smelt like cat, or how I had no good movies, or my shampoo would dry out her hair horribly. I thought she would be smart enough to bring her own stuff or did she really expect me to provide everything for her? Now that is just bogus.

Sakura got a very rude awakening this morning too. I had another nightmare and woke up screaming and in a cold sweat. I was so embarrassed that she had heard me screaming like that… I really hope she doesn't tell Shizune about my little episodes, but why do I get the feeling that she will and they're not going to stop any time soon?

Kami, please hear my prayers: strike me down where I stand and I will be forever greatful.

 **A/N:So, that's a week's worth of entries in two-three days. Pretty awesome. If you have any suggestions please by all means suggest and shout out to the awesome followers of Sasu's decent into maddness!**


	8. Day 8

**Day 8**  
I got a call from Shizune just a few minutes ago and she really ripped me a new asshole-figuratively speaking of course. Sakura did rat me into her and told her everything that she hear and saw, so now I have to go to the pharmacy to pick up my new prescription for sleeping and anti-anxiety pills. They won't do me any good, I can already tell you that now; Shizune will be even more pissed at me if I don't take them though since I already didn't tell her about my nightmares.

I have to agree with the voices in my head. Smothering Sakura with a pillow while she sleeps is starting to sound better and better, maybe slipping some rat poison into her morning coffee? I suppose that would be simple enough, I'm sure it wouldn't be that hard to fashion a noose from some sheets... Would Koneko eat a dead body? I wonder if I can find some of those recipes for a rare delicacy like that from the internet… Mhmm… I shall return…


	9. Day 9

**A/N: Hey readers! I am not dead I simply lost my flashdrive that had ALL of my stories on it! Yay! I found it again so I can start my updates again :). This here is Day 9 of Sasuke's journal *cough diary cough*. I don't know when my next Fallout 3 fic will be up hopefully soon, but idk... also! be on the look out for at least TWO new stories for Naruto! One will be a Kiba/Hina and the other will be a Sasu/Saku cause I want to. If you haven't already read "Midnight Memories" i would suggest you do to either adopt or give me more ideas as to where to take it. So that's my ramble and as always feedback is love and I am always open to suggestions, adoptions (of stories) and private requests! Simply PM or comment. Enjoy!**

 **Day 9**  
So I checked on those recipes that I was thinking about and they don't exist anywhere on the internet. Must be a secret family recipe that only psychopathic cannibals know? Shame I don't know any personally. I got a chance to talk to Shizune about the pills and about Sakura and she set Sakura in her place. Ha, she got yelled at and the look on her face was priceless! But I do feel kinda bad because I haven't exactly been the most gracious host… sigh. I have to find out a way to make it up to her I guess then maybe living with her for two weeks won't be so bad? Eh, worth a shot and if that don't work I can always smother her with a pillow.

I have to remember to go over to see Naruto and Koneko cause my kitty misses me. I miss her too, she helps with my mini panic attacks. How much you wanna bet that I'm going to have to buy a years' worth of catnip to apologize? At least she and the dobe get along, if they didn't she would eat Sakura alive.

…note to self: attempt to feed Neko raw meat…


	10. Day 10

**A/N:Day 10 Sasuke's journal thingy. I hope you are all enjoying this!**

 **Day 10  
** Last night in a vain attempt to make up for being such a dick lately, I offered to take Sakura and Naruto out for dinner. The dobe wanted ramen from one of the best Japanese food place in town and Sakura, of course, has a 'sensitive stomach' and can't have Japanese food because of the ingredients that they use; she instead wanted Mexican. Naruto and I shared the same look of disbelief that she can wat Mexican but not Japanese food, but didn't argue this point in logic mostly just so we didn't have to hear her complain.

Naruto said that Koneko is getting along well enough in his apartment and hates dogs. That's my girl. I could've told him this before he took her but he found out the hard way when his friend Kiba took his mutt puppy over and he almost lost an eye for sniffing Kitten. I thought it was hilarious but Kiba and Naru were none too pleased. Shame I couldn't have been there.

At Sakura's request and Naruto's half hour of whining, I relented and we stopped to rent a few movies to watch at the house. I let them pick because I really didn't want to watch any, I just preferred to not be alone. They settled on some cheesy low budget film that looked like it was done by some toddlers with a camera. Half way through Sakura fell asleep on my shoulder and Naruto spread himself out on the floor in front of the TV. They both looked so peaceful so I let them sleep and fell asleep where I sat with Sakura curled into my side.


	11. Day 11

**A/N: I hope you awesome readers can forgive me for falling off and not updating this sooner, but i've been busy with ma real life. Sorry if that sounds effed up, but tis be true but any hoe hope you enjoy and member feedback is love!**

 **Day 11  
** It was a really bad idea to sleep sitting up on the couch. When Sakura finally got off of me and I tried to stand, the entire lower half of my body was numb. As I started to regain feeling the first sensation was one of millions upon millions of tiny needles in my skin along with a killer cramp in my neck. As soon as I could walk without falling over I called the first shower and gathered my clothes. I spend half an hour just standing under the hot water before I actually did my shower ritual. When I emerged, Sakura and Naruto were debating an anime I haven't heard of and who had the best weapon or something, I simply ignored them and went to the kitchen for breakfast. I pulled out the ingredients for pancakes and started to cook. I often listen to music when I do thinks around the house, bit since I can't with company I decide on humming to myself as I dance as twist, spin and sashay to and fro making the most important meal of the day.

I hate them, I hate them, and I hate them. I can NEVER live this down especially now since there is real evidence that I was dancing and singing in my kitchen – hey, it's my house I can do whatever the hell I want to in it so eat it. After they finished making fun of me, they started putting in orders of what they wanted in their pancakes and what should accompany them. Since when do I run a fucking restaurant? I told them I wasn't taking order and if they wanted anything else they're doing it themselves. Lazy bastards.

Shizune texted and I have a phone check up with her in a few hours. Sakura said she has errands to run so Naruto and I decide to make a run back to his apartment to see Koneko. As we drove to his apartment, I was beside myself. I've missed my kitty more than anyone. When we got there, she ignored me until I pulled out a tiny bag of catnip I found, then she was on me like white on rice. It was a little scary to compare her to one of the many fangirls that Itachi had in high school. Shudder.


	12. Day 12

**Day 12**  
Shizune said she would be back sooner than expected but that doesn't mean that Sakura can stop living with me yet. She said that since we've done so well together for this long, that we can spent another week together since I've been making progress. Koneko wants to come home already and I want her to, but we still have to get the girls used to each other…

Sakura was actually excited that she was staying with me. Surprisingly, I didn't mind as much as I thought I would. When I told Naruto, he requested another movie night with pizza deliver to the house and booze. Kami, it's like high school all over again. Sakura agreed immedialtly and I got out voted two-to-one even though it's my house. When I made this point, Sakura argued that technically it was our house since she's staying with me till further notice. I had no rebuttle to this because I was trying to not choke on my spit.

When I recovered from nearly choking, I agreed on the condition that Koneko gets to come home and they can't fight. Sakura agreed but I don't think Koneko will be that forgiving…

I was right! She wasn't! She was pissed at me, Sakura and Naruto and showed her distaste for all of us by knocking the pizza to the floor and puking in Sakura's bed. I really love my kitten, but sometimes I wish she wouldn't be this mean to Saku – I mean Sakura.

Koneko slept on the counter in the kitchen after we cleaned the spilt pizza and the puke from the blankets. I have to wash them in the morning, but for now we for leave her to her own devises and watch another movie that was made by camera-weilding-toddlers.


	13. Day 13

**Day 13**

I woke up again to a dozing Sakura in my lap and I smiled. I actually smiled. I don't remember the last time I felt this _peaceful_. Maybe when I was sleeping with Koneko, but it's different to have a human rather than an animal. I can get used to waking up like that…but I don't think Sakura would feel the same. I resisted the urge to sigh at that and just laid there watching the blossom sleep.

When we all finally woke up, Sakura got first shower, Neko went outside and Naruto and I played video games till she was done. Naruto surprised me by asking about Sakura. Our conversation went something like this:

Naru: So, what's going on with you and Sakura?  
Me: What do you mean?  
Naru: You can't tell me nothing is going on. She's been living with you for over a week and she's used you as a pillow twice!  
Me: So? You let my cat live with you while she was here and cooked lunch for me before, does that mean that there's something going on between us?  
Naru: It's not the same thing teme…  
Me: How is it not dobe?  
Naru: Because she's a chick! She is the first female that you've had any contact with that would be even remotely interested in you! She likes you teme, why are you so dense?  
Me: I am not-  
Naru: Yes you are! She told me! She _told_ me that she likes you.

I…I don't know what to think right now…could Sakura really like me?


End file.
